When a Healthy Habit Turns Destructive: The Marriage That Cycling Broke

Exercise is widely praised for its mental and physical benefits, but new stories and research highlight a sobering reality: what starts as a healthy routine can spiral into an obsession that quietly destroys relationships.

Katrina Collier, a 54-year-old author from London, shared with The Independent how her marriage fell apart largely due to her husband’s extreme dedication to cycling.

Over time, what began as a manageable hobby became a driving force in the breakdown of their marriage in 2012.

The couple met in Chicago and married in 2007. At first, his fitness habits were moderate mostly commuting by bike. But early signs of imbalance appeared while they were dating.

On a visit to Katrina in Australia, he spent a significant amount just to transport his bike on the plane.

A turning point came during a cycling holiday in the UK. Katrina, hoping to share in his passion, imagined they could ride together to Land’s End.

The reality was harsher: her husband’s competitive drive pushed him far ahead, often leaving her to ride alone.

Some moments included him looping back to check on her, but more often, she was isolated.

Katrina later called it the loneliest holiday she had ever experienced, an early glimpse into the distance that would grow between them.

As the years passed, cycling consumed more of his life. Long rides and 100-mile events dominated weekends.

Katrina attended to support him but felt bored and disconnected, her presence largely unnoticed.

The hobby had morphed into an obsession, dictating schedules, eclipsing shared time, and eroding intimacy.

Attempts to join in, including buying a tandem bike, failed he found the slower pace frustrating, leaving the bike unused and symbolic of their growing divide.

Even spinning classes reinforced the pattern.

Befriending another male cyclist, he immersed himself further, normalizing his obsessive behavior.

Eventually, he became an instructor, shifting his focus entirely to analytical, strength-based cycling.

The couple separated in 2012, though they continued living together briefly due to London’s high cost of living.

Katrina observed his extreme training routines long hours in the morning and evening which affected his physical health.

Breathing issues emerged, improving only when he reduced his cycling.

Katrina’s experience aligns with broader research: extreme exercise can harm relationships and overall wellbeing.

Studies on marathon runners suggest one in four experience high levels of depression or anxiety, showing how exercise can be a coping mechanism or form of escapism.

During her healing journey, Katrina learned about the "addiction tree" concept, recognizing that her husband, raised by an alcoholic father, may have used exercise to numb emotional pain.

She also acknowledged her own history of narcissistic abuse, which had made her prone to seeking external validation.

Her insight highlights a key truth: addiction whether to exercise, shopping, or scrolling often stems from unhealed trauma.

Her advice for those dealing with a partner addicted to exercise is clear: explore their past.

Understanding the roots bullying, shame, low self-esteem, or trauma can clarify unhealthy patterns.

Even activities that seem healthy can be warning signs if they lead to obsession, emotional distance, or physical decline.

Red flags of an unhealthy obsession include:

• Emotional unavailability to family
• Training that harms physical health
• Prioritizing exercise over the relationship

Recovery is possible, but it requires confronting the underlying pain. Katrina’s ex-husband has begun acknowledging the problem, marking a crucial first step toward seeking help.